Happy (almost) Independence Day! Here is my Red, White, and Blue Bruise post. It's even been a couple days and the coloring has gone down. I shoulda taken this earlier.
I'm out playing with a friend the other day and she tells me to let go of something. Of course I am feeling a little ornery and wouldn't do it. "I'll bite you." Yeah, sure you will. SHE DID! Dammit woman. Who does that? So you can see me here in my flag boxers and the teeth marks on my arm. One day. One day I am going to figure women out. Then I'm going to write a book on them. And every man in the world will buy it. Then I can finally retire to Mexico and buy that little bar that I want, lay on the beach with boat drinks, and have little senoritas catering to me.
Wanna know why I do this? Go see Osbasso and Half Nekkid Thursday.
No. Really not the effect. The AFFECT. You can read part I here. So I will attempt to finish up the story here, in a bit. You know when I am tired about bothering with work and going out? It is going to take a bit. Then I'll publish it in it's entirety later. I've lost the card with Kev's number on it, go figure!, so if you ever get on the internets give me a shout brother. It's funny thinking about it as I translate these pages to the confuser. This guy doesn't even have an email address. I tried to get him to send over some pictures of the dog, nope. Doesn't know how or want to learn. So you'll have to make due with Stooge pictures when I can find them.
Now back to the boys Shemp & Kev... So, I got to meet Shemp a couple times and see him during his transition from the beatup mutt to loyal sidekick. Never did figure out what he was, some kind of mix of Lab and Golden Shepherd, was my guess. As awkward as it that sounds. Vet put him around six-ish.
Best damn dog. Housetrained. Loved the outdoors. Good with people, especially kids. Take him to the park with no leash. He loved to fetch and play frisbee. And in the park this mutt was a chick-magnet. Turns out, that was Shemp's downfall. Kev met X playing with Shemp out there. It was a random meeting too. They had actually met before, but he didn't ask her out when he had the chance because she was with a friend of his. Shoulda, coulda boy. Now, it was his turn. Kev asked her out and one thing led to another. They quickly fell for one another. One of those fucking Disney romances (apparently).
Things progressed at a rapid, rapid, pace for them. He did the whole "I love you" even before she did. They took the plunge and moved in together. Her place was better than his. So, he gave up the lease and moved. Only thing was, she liked Shemp - but was not much of a dog person. And on top of that, her lease didn't allow animals that size. SO, Kev got a buddy who knew and loved the dog to take him in. Plus, he visitation rights and could see Shemp whenever he wanted. Worked out well.
Well for a while that is. Shemp kept getting out, no matter what his buddy did to prevent it. He would always find shi way, a couple miles, to Kev's new apartment. He'd only been there a couple times too. This happend several times in the first six months until his buddy couldn't take the hassle, the worry, or the fix-er-ups.
So, it was back to Kev to find Shemp a new home. All the while harboring a dog in a non-pet apartment. He and X were at this point talking marriage, the white picket fence, babies, and the whole nine yards. They kept the dog a bit, to her dismay, until they were found out and were going to get fined or booted out. Kev had no choice but to find the pup a new home. He couldn't bare to give him to a shelter, because who knew where or who that he might end up with. Not that good people don't go get pound puppies but at this dogs age it wasn't likely some stranger would see just how awesome he was, right?
Funny of the day
Ok. Not PC but still made me giggle. Says "Even though we know dinosaurs survived the flood (on Noah's Ark) we don't know if Jesus ever rode them. But he probably did!" I'm just working on that seat. That seat in Hell. Want me to save you one?
That is what I had to tell someone the other day about this website. And it made me laugh out loud because I've either said it to a girl or had it said to me. Haven't we all? When I've said it, it was to be nice - because it was true - and there was something wrong. In the past I could not ever explain it to them. I'd like to think I can now. But when girls have said it to me, it's usually because they are sleeping with someone else. I, seriously, had to sit down because after I uttered those words I was laughing so hard at my damnself.
And NO, it's not all about the sex thing either. It's just so cliché sometimes. What made it so funny was that I had just got done clarifying to this person that they asked about the waaaay wrong girlfriend, that was years ago, and that I don't blog everything just what pops out when I sit down in front of the keyboard. And if they asked to be blogged about I wouldn't do it, just cause they asked. Well you got your wish. Here - you've been blogged.
Sunset on the front balcony in the hacienda courtyard. So green. So tranquil. Yep. I still can sit and watch the Sun go down no matter where I reside. Sometimes I just need that quiet time.
I went in to find that my internets was not working tonight. WTF? I'm not behind in payments. WTF? At first I wonder if Darth is sick. I am real cautious when it comes to my confuser. So I give him the once over. Hardware intact. Software all good. No noticable problems. I've got connectivity, right? I grab the laptop and fire it up. Hook to the net but no service either. Ok. It is on their end, not mine.
Then it was off to the balcony in back to hang out for a little bit while I call the cable company. I get hold of them pretty quicklike and cometofindout they SHUT ME OFF for abuse. WTF?!? The guy says to me that I have been suspended because of my bandwidth use. I calmly explain to the man I'm not using any P2P crap and it is just my ShumpySpam and website work that are uploading. He is not a techy, just a help center guy so he's not getting all my jargon. I dumb it down enough for the nice fellow to get my point. They agree to get me back on. IN THREE HOURS. So you wonder why there was half a post up here for a while. Blame Ygnition, not me.
I found a pair of freebie binoculars when shuffling some stuff in my truck. Heh. They are oldies from a drug rep. Notice the VIAGRA on them? Too funny. Makes me laugh. So. No internets (TeeVee still worked), means no work at the casa. What to do? Bring! BRrring! It's Timmy to remind me that there is a bikini contest down the road. Hmmmm. Alright. I'm game. I needed to run some errands any how.
The PoPo was already on the scene when I got there. Niiiiiice. Lucky me, I'm not doing anything illegal.
Chopper and Timmy's ride.
Of course when it's over AmyS says follow me and I obey. Dammit, I should be at home. But of course I'll go play for just a bit more. Just a bit. Bad girl. And now that she's my neighbor I can't say "It's too far" since she is just across the parking lot from me and has the same distance to go.
